Andrew’s blog

Why is true love so hard to find.?
And when you do find it, you can't keep it.
Try to hold on but something always goes wrong.
What is love when the other doesn't love back.?
Why is it you always want what you cannot have.?
Love, Money and a real mom and dad.
Love in the family and in reality.
Why is true love so hard to find.?
No matter where you look, always a place to hide.
Don't look back or you'll dissapoint yourself.
Don't do something that you will regret.
Like not ask that special someone out, just cause you have a doubt.
Stay headstrong, your heart will never be wrong.
Just remember don't change for no one.
Cause if you do, you will probably lose that one true love.
That very special someone, who loves you for you.

Socioeconomic in every way.
Lost by what you say.
Use drugs to ease the pain.
Bewildered within myself.
Pray to the One above.
For someone to hold and to love.
But where is she at?
Nowhere to be found.
So my knees hit the ground.
Why have I been Forsaken.
What have I done?
Nowhere to hide and nowhere to run.
Empty inside is all that I feel.
The world around me doesn't seem real.
Ashamed when you look me in the eyes.
You tell me im ugly and you laugh inside.
Why do I have this torment all I want to do is fuck it away.
Dejected by the things you say.
Wishing the voices inside would just go away.
Confused, Lost, Dreary,and Alone everyday.

You pushed me away, but why.?

Cause i had an addiction other than you.?

How many times do i have to say,

That i am sorry for everything.

Should i assume that you will be here for me.?

Just like you were when i felt dead inside,

Afraid for my life, scared to go outside.

I was screwed up, used up, crumbled lying on the floor.

But i have picked up the pieces for ever more

What does it mean to you.?

Hold me up into the light, i have  fixed the cracks and fixed them right.

Sorry i had an addiction other than you

Maybe one day my love for you will come true

Hoping in time, we'll bury all this pain

What does it mean to you.?

Please just dont throw me away

Well i am clean once again, for now anyway...my withdrawls are gone, and let me tell u the past week has sucked pretty bad...my stomache is still fucked but the rest of me feels good...oh, and for all who didnt want to be there for me thru this..."You can suck my di@k and fucking like it".!!!...anyways i am done wit the shit and dont ever want to see another pill in mah life...i somehow did this wit only the help of a few friends who were here to encourage me and they were their to help me out and tell me that i could do it...well, other than those (whom i am sure you know who u are)...but i do want to put most of the thanks to God who, well i know He had to been there for me this past week or i would have easily gone phsycho and i want to put up thanks to everyone who actually thought and believed in me...

2 and a half years of addiction and i beat it in one week and a half...

Peace, Lost_Soul

Hold me up into the light

Fix these problems and fix them right

The anger inside is changing me

Thought the sun would shine for once

Through the clouds and shine down on me

As always tho i am mislead

Dejected once and once again

Bleeding, watching my soul die inside of me

Reaching out for someone but only finds antipathy

Empty inside, my feelings fade beneath me

Why can't somebody help me,

What have i done, to deserve such pain

Suicide is painless but i don't want to miss you anymore

Oh, God help me!  Why is life not fun anymore

What should i do, and how do i end it all

Without you in my life my salvation has fallen

My mind is screaming at me and laughing inside

Telling me i'm worthless and so empty inside

I just can't keep going through this pain

End it now God i'm going insane

Leave me be and watch me die

Suicide is painless, then why does it hurt so bad

Not me dying, but knowing i'll never see you again

Can't erase this pain i feel
This life i live doesn't feel real
Grieve on the things i should've done
Should've said and should've known
Maybe then i wouldn't be alone

I do nothing but mourn
Day in and day out
About the life i live
And what life is all about
Mistakes i have made without a doubt

I live life in agony and regret
I hope one day it all goes away
Leaves me for good and pulls away
My memories that haunt me every day
Leave me alone and just let me die
Because im sorry for hurting you
And wasting four years of your life

Everytime i close my eyes
I see a perfect place to hide
It helps me escape reality
Because all it does is hurt me
When will i find true happiness
Fallen into the dark abyss
Nowhere to hide and nowhere to run
Stuck in this suicidal pain called love

Lost emotions hiding inside of me
Can't seem to let them out
Destructive thoughts won't go away
Why must it be this way
Lend me your hand and get me out

I am burning inside
Help me i want to feel alive, again
No get out of my head
Leave me alone, i hate you
Why are you doing this to me

Is it just an intuition
Or maybe no one will listen
I feel pain in an instant
Fuck off, i already lost my best friend
Fine then, i'll just accept this

(I can't die cause i'm already dead)
(I can't die cause i'm already dead)